


Silent Love

by mochii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Social Anxiety, Tags are hard yo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2017-04-14
Packaged: 2018-03-13 05:38:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3369824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochii/pseuds/mochii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi Tadashi tends to avoid conversations with others. He would much rather immerse himself in music and keep to himself. Hence the reason why he works at Karasuno Bookstore. He is, for the most part, content with how quiet his life is. What he doesn't know is that his life will become more interesting with the arrival of a tattoo parlor and a certain blond next door.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Calling Faith

Yamaguchi wasn’t one for extensive conversations. This being the main reason why he decided working at a small bookstore was a good idea. It was a quiet and overall relaxing workplace and he never really found himself dread going to work. Sure he still had to interact with customers, but even then these customers were regulars and knew he preferred to not speak.

The thing with social anxiety was that no matter how long he knew a person, it would still be a struggle to start a conversation with them. Whenever he had to talk to a person, he couldn’t stop the questions that began popping up in his mind. What if he said something dumb? Would someone get annoyed with him if he couldn’t help them find a book? He always over analyzed situations, preparing himself for the worst outcome. Eventually he would realize he was nervous over nothing, but that never stopped him from doing the process all over again.

Yamaguchi sighed. He didn't get much sleep the night before due to the fact today was the day his manager, Takeda-san, was going to stop by to check on things. Although Takeda-san was kind and a bit dorky, Yamaguchi was still anxious for his visit. That night he mentally made sure everything he was supposed to do was done properly. Before he knew it, it was 4am. Unfortunately for him, he had work at 8.

Rubbing his puffy eyes, Yamaguchi slunk down in the chair at the front desk. It had been an hour since he had arrived to Karasuno Bookstore and so far no one had stopped in. He could faintly hear Hinata humming from the children’s section, most likely reading the new arrivals. Yamaguchi never understood how someone so lively and energetic such as Hinata would work in such a quiet environment. Sometimes, however, Yamaguchi would be startled by Hinata's cackling whenever he found a book amusing. It goes without saying that Hinata’s favorite section was the kid’s section. He found the illustrations hilarious and would often show Yamaguchi a few.

Hinata was one of the few people he could talk to without having to worry about being judged for what he said. Maybe it was because Hinata was very vibrant and had this loyal air about him. Or maybe it was because he was significantly shorter than Yamaguchi. Who knows.

"Nee Yama-chan, do you know when Takeda-san is coming?" Hinata called out from wherever he was at now.

"He said he would be here by lunch but he never gave an exact time, sorry." Yamaguchi sheepishly said.

“Yama-chan, why are you apologizing? Geez, how many times do I gotta say if it’s not your fault you don’t have to be sorry!” He was always reminding Yamaguchi not to apologize for unnecessary reasons.

"I'm sorry! I just can’t help it..." It was a habit he was trying to break but it was just so difficult.

—————

At around 11, the front door bells jingled, signaling Takeda-san’s arrival. Yamaguchi had been passing the time listening to music. Takeda-san wasn’t very strict on what they could or couldn’t do as long as when a customer walked in they would attend them immediately.

"Hey guys! Sorry I showed up unexpectedly. Though it wasn’t actually unexpected since I did tell you I’d be here but i don’t think I actually gave you guys a specific time. Sorry! But I mean I'm here now. Speaking of which, the traffic was soooo bad cause I think there was a acci-“

“Takeda-san you’re rambling again!" Hinata giggled.

“Oh gosh I'm sorry! But I’m just so excited! I stopped by today to let you guys know that a tattoo shop is opening next door!"

"A tattoo shop?" Yamaguchi was confused as to why a tattoo shop would open up beside a bookstore.

"Yes! Apparently there aren’t many around here and since the gift shop moved out from next door, that was the only space available.” The gift shop had been successful until the owner, an elderly man, passed away. The old man’s grandchildren decided to relocate the shop.

“Anyways, I just wanted to let you guys know that for the next week or so, it may get a bit noisy since they are going to be remodeling and moving their equipment. I know you don’t like loud environments and there’s going to be new people, Yamaguchi-kun, so if you wanna take the next few days off, you can.” Takeda-san said, eyeing Yamaguchi.

Yamaguchi felt a blush taking over his face. Takeda-san was like an older brother who always looked out for him, making sure he was comfortable most of the time. Yamaguchi really appreciated it but he needed the money.

"Um, it's fine. I think I’ll be able to manage some noise for a couple of days." He decided.

"Are you sure?" Yamaguchi nodded. "Alrighty then! Well I'm going to introduce myself to the owner whenever he gets here so, carry on!” Takeda-san then left towards the back room.

After a few moments, Yamaguchi let out a sigh. It was going to be difficult but he didn’t want to miss work over something so small. He was always startled easily; however, it was impossible for every moment to be peaceful. As long as he distracted himself he would be fine.

—————

Sure enough, the next couple of days were everything Yamaguchi expected them to be — loud. The renovations of the shop next door had begun and the workers made it known. Harsh banging and drilling, though muffled, could be heard through the wall, occasionally startling him. Thankfully, Takeda-san had allowed him to listen to music as long as no customers were around. Yamaguchi was thankful for this — music was the only thing that truly calmed him. At home, music served as background noise while he cooked, cleaned, or just lazed around. Most of the time he’d sing and dance around his small apartment. He didn’t have to worry about being judged when he was alone.

A strong bang nearly had him falling out of the chair he was currently sitting in. He looked outside the shop and noticed a moving truck parked out in front. Movers were quickly but carefully unloading furniture from the truck and into the shop. The furniture consisted mostly of black reclining chairs and stools. They were all wrapped up in clear plastic to keep them from being damaged.

After the movers were finished about half an hour later, a man with bleached hair kept out of his face with a black elastic headband walked up to them, paid them, and saw them off. Unexpectedly though, he turned around and made eye contact with Yamaguchi.

“Oh no…” whispered Yamaguchi to himself. He knew that look, the one people gave him when they were about to begin a conversation.

As expected, the man entered the bookstore and strode up to the front desk where Yamaguchi was sitting at. He was an attractive man with a nice smile. He looked young, probably in his late 20’s. He was a bit intimidating with his tattoos and bleached hair, but seemed like a friendly person overall.

“Hey there! Sorry about all the commotion we’ve caused the past week. It’s been really hectic trying to get everything ready before the opening date. I’m Ukai Keishin, the owner of Black Crow Tattoo Parlor,” the man, Ukai, smiled and held out a hand for him to shake.

“Y-Yamaguchi Tadashi. Nice to m-meet you,” Yamaguchi stammered. Gosh, his hand was shaking slightly when he reached out to shake Ukai’s waiting hand. Ukai had a strong, confident handshake.

Usually at this point Yamaguchi would run out of things to say. He awkwardly looked around, not knowing how to continue the conversation.

“Pretty nice bookstore, by the way. Haven’t been to one since I was in school, not that I read for fun or whatever. Kind of refreshing knowing that not everything is electronic,” Ukai broke the silence, seeming lost in thought.

Yamaguchi dumbly nodded, taken aback by how easily Ukai had ignored the awkward aura he was sure surrounded him. Not many people would try to continue talking to him when they saw how uncomfortable he looked.

A shrill sound ripped through the bookstore, effectively making Yamaguchi jump.

“Oh, sorry,” Ukai grabbed his phone from his back pocket, frowning when he saw who was calling. “Guess they noticed I’m missing so I should go back. It was nice meeting ya. Oh and tell Takeda I said hi.” And with a wave he walked out the bookstore.

Blinking at the spot where Ukai had just been standing, Yamaguchi was left dumbfounded. _Well that went better than I expected_. As usual, this had been one of those times where he had overthought how meeting Ukai would go. There was no reason for him to get so riled up when everything had gone smoothly. Despite being pretty awkward, it hadn’t discouraged Ukai from conversing with him.

Letting out a shaky breath, Yamaguchi rested his head on the desk. He really needed to chill out. Becoming anxious over any contact with strangers was tiring and totally unnecessary. Knowing this, he still continued to listen to the small voice in the back of his mind telling him he would make a fool of himself, leading to unfavorable consequences. His self-confidence was lowered due to the teasing aimed at his freckles, but more than that, the bullying had taken a toll on his ability to trust others and speak his mind. No one had bothered to help him out, even when the bullies turned towards physical methods. This eventually lead to him losing hope in others and especially himself since he couldn’t stand up for himself. He remembers being called a pushover in high school — he probably still was. It’s easier to do what he is told without arguing, it meant less confrontations.

Yamaguchi peered at the clock, he still had a couple hours till closing.

—————

The time to leave had finally arrived. Today was Yamaguchi’s turn to close the bookstore, meaning he had to stay about an hour later than his coworkers.  
All he wanted was to go home, take a shower, make food, and maybe watch some Netflix. All he had done today was help an elderly woman find a book for her granddaughter and talk to Ukai. Even though he hadn’t done much, he was still exhausted from not sleeping well. Again. Insomnia was a terrible force following anxiety.

After making sure everything was in its place, Yamaguchi grabbed his belongings. He popped in his earphones and began turning off lights and shutting blinds before stepping outside. He smiled as he recognized the song that started playing, steady beats and flowing rhythms filling his ears. His body suddenly felt lighter as the music progressed, dissolving his worries and nerves.

Gently bobbing his head, Yamaguchi locked the front door. As he spun around to begin his trudge back to his apartment, he found himself crashing into someone who appeared to be in a hurry. As his butt made contact with the sidewalk, Yamaguchi winced as he heard the faint sound of a crack. His iPod, which had been in his back pocket. He cautiously looked up to see who had put him in his current situation.

The first thing he noticed were a pair of piercing amber eyes staring down at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my goodness, so this is my first fanfic. Ever. Yamaguchi is by far my favorite haikyuu character, he's such a cutie patootie. Sorry if it seems a bit boring, things will pick up once you know who shows up more. That being said, please kindly point out any mistakes I've made. The more feedback, the better my writing will become. I will try to post at least once a week but no promises since college takes up my time.  
> Thank you for reading and until next time, peace out yo.
> 
> ~Rose


	2. Overwhelmed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Shyness is nice and shyness can stop you  
> From doing all the things in life you'd like to.
> 
> So, if there's something you'd like to try  
> If there's something you'd like to try  
> Ask me, I won't say 'No', how could I?
> 
> Coyness is nice and coyness can stop you  
> From saying all the things in life you'd like to."
> 
> \- Ask, The Smiths

Keeping his thoughts to himself was something Yamaguchi was a pro at doing. Being someone with social anxiety, he spent a lot of time in his head, either daydreaming or analyzing what was happening around him. His mind was constantly brimming with thoughts he dared not voice out loud. But in this moment, all Yamaguchi can think about is the person currently standing above him.

Besides his striking golden eyes, which were framed by black glasses, the most prominent feature to his assaulter was his height. The person who had literally knocked him onto his butt was tall. Very tall. Yamaguchi was pretty tall himself, standing at about 5 feet 10 inches and although the stranger may have only been a couple of inches taller than him, from his position on the ground, this person resembled a giant.

Overall, Yamaguchi thought the man looked a bit like a punk with his ripped skinny jeans and faded band tee. White, expensive-looking headphones hung around his neck, looking more like an accessory than anything. Blond hair that seemed natural, unlike Ukai’s obviously bleached hair, was cut short, a slight fringe covering the upper part of his forehead. One arm was completely covered in tattoos, black lines curving into different patterns, outlining and shading multiple images. His other arm was devoid of any ink, only pale skin visible. His facial features were sharp and a scowl was currently resting on his face.

_Oh no, he’s hot_.

“Hey are you alright?” Yamaguchi was snapped out of his internal revelation by a rough voice. A blush slowly creeped up his neck towards his cheeks when he realized he was blatantly staring at the blond. Knowing that his voice would be nothing more than a squeak, Yamaguchi simply nodded before scrambling to stand up.

“Well, can’t say the same about your iPod,” the man said, nodding down at Yamaguchi’s now cracked iPod on the sidewalk.

All Yamaguchi could do was stare grimly down at it before picking it up. Large white cracks stood out against the black surface, the screen resembling a spider’s web. That was probably one of the saddest moments in his life. Although it was an inanimate object, his iPod had been there during his bad and good moments when nobody else was. It was the thing that kept him sane for years; music being the only thing that effectively calmed his anxiety and dissipated the darkness that would occasionally surround him. Yamaguchi wanted to cry.

Probably seeing the distress on his face, the stranger cleared his throat and with a neutral face said, “I’ll pay for the repairs or replacement.”

Finally seeming to find his voice, Yamaguchi managed to stammered out, “N-no! It’s fine, you don’t have to pay for anything!” He hated inconveniencing others, even if he wasn’t the one at fault. It was just easier to deal with the aftermath himself than make the situation any more difficult for either of them.

“Uh no, I was the one who ran into you so I will take responsibility for what I have caused,” the man scoffed, his tone making it sound like his statement was clearly obvious.

“No no really it’s fine! I was going to replace it anyways ‘cause it’s really old…” Yamaguchi began, trailing off when he noticed the look the other was giving him.

The taller of the two stared at him with narrow eyes, as if glaring would intimidate Yamaguchi into agreeing with him. When Yamaguchi looked away, the blond let out a sigh. “Whatever, I don’t have time to argue. You work here right? Do you work tomorrow?” He motioned towards Karasuno Bookstore. Yamaguchi nodded. “Great, I work next door. I’ll drop by tomorrow to continue this conversation alright…?”

Yamaguchi just blinked at him. This guy worked at the tattoo parlor? This meant they would be seeing more of each other which in turn meant he couldn’t escape this situation. The man questioningly raised an eyebrow, which Yamaguchi noticed was pierced now that he was almost at eye-level with him. Realizing he was waiting for his name, Yamaguchi felt another blush adorn his freckled cheeks.

“O-oh! I’m sorry, my name’s Yamaguchi Tadashi.”

“Right, I’m Tsuki-” Suddenly, a loud tone cut off the man. Pulling out his cellphone, he sighed annoyedly. “Sorry I need to go. I’ll see you tomorrow, don’t think you’re off the hook.” And with a wave he ran off.

_Hasn’t this happened before?_ Yamaguchi stared after the retreating figure, trying to analyze what just had happened. The man — which he now knew as Tsukki — was different from anyone he had ever interacted with. He was blunt and stubborn; most people would have given into Yamaguchi’s protests and never meet with him again. Tsukki, however, refused to let it go and even went out of his way to rearrange another meeting. Not that it was unavoidable, the guy did work right next door to Yamaguchi so they were bound to cross paths again.

Letting out a shaky sigh, Yamaguchi bend down to pick up his bag off the floor and began his walk home. He did not own a car, he didn’t think it was necessary since everything was within walking distance — one perk of living in a somewhat small town. Besides, walking allowed him to clear his head. A cold breeze had appeared now that the sun had retreated from the sky being replaced by the moon. There was still a small amount of light across the horizon, making the purples and pinks stand out against the sky.

If he was being honest, Yamaguchi was irritated that Tsukki had bumped into him. Even though it was an accident, his most efficient form of therapy was destroyed as a result. Only part of the screen lit up, most of it remaining black. Tiny shards of glass scraped his thumb as it glided across the screen. Despite it technically being Tsukki’s fault, Yamaguchi couldn’t will himself to be angry at him. Over the years he had learned to let things go; holding grudges wouldn’t fix the situation, if anything, it would probably make it worse.

When Yamaguchi arrived to his apartment building, his dejected mood still lingered. He climbed up the stairs two at a time — elevators making him feel claustrophobic — until he got to the third floor. He all but ran down the hall to his apartment door, unlocking it, and rushing inside. Once the door was closed behind him, Yamaguchi felt relief slowly make its way into his body.

The first thing he did was take his shoes and pants off. He didn’t like wearing pants at home — he usually just lounged around in his boxers and an oversized shirt. He loved being comfortable and it wasn’t as if anyone could see him anyway.

Not even bothering turning the light on, Yamaguchi made his way to his bedroom. Dropping his stuff on the floor, Yamaguchi launched himself onto his bed and crawled under his plush blanket. He was so exhausted, more mentally than physically. Today had been full of unexpected events that he was not prepared for.

Yamaguchi was used to his life being uneventful and a little boring. He had made it that way, secluding himself from society. The people he believed would be there for him had abandoned him; they all gave up trying to spend time with him since he would always find an excuse to bail. It wasn’t that he disliked being with them, he just wasn’t able to motivate himself to go out. The times he did, the social interactions would become too tiring. He wanted to explain that he was the problem. He wanted to tell people what was on his mind without fearing how others reacted. He wanted to converse with people without his hands shaking. He wanted to laugh loudly with his mouth wide open without being self-conscious. He wanted to be himself without caring about what others thought of him.

Bringing his knees to his chest, Yamaguchi felt tears pricking the corner of his eyes. Quickly blinking them away, he sniffled and pulled his blanket tighter around him. As much as he had convinced himself that it was better being alone, he couldn’t help but feel lonely from time to time. It frustrated him. How could he feel lonely when he was the one who pushed people away?

Closing his eyes, Yamaguchi took deep breaths to calm himself. Eventually, his negative thoughts faded away as his exhaustion overcame him. At least in his dreams he could escape his worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well so much for once a week. I'm so sorry it's kinda short and for taking long to post this chapter. The past few weeks have been full of exams and essays and ugh. Most of this chapter was literally written while I was at a quinceañera lol. Anyways, I based Yamaguchi's social anxiety and coping skills on my own. Because people experience anxiety differently and have their own methods that work for them, mine may be different from others. Either way, it is not fun having it.  
> That being said, thank you so much for all the kudos and comments, I was surprised by how many I got. You guys are so sweet. (ʃƪ ˘ ³˘) Please continue to provide feedback and until next time.
> 
> ~ Rose


	3. Hang On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Have work in the morning  
> And up at the crack of dawn  
> All my money worries  
> Wherever I go come along
> 
> Worry's a bully  
> That just won't let me be  
> Trying to keep me busy  
> Tussling and struggling"
> 
> \- Going Gets Tough, The Growlers

A blaring alarm startled Yamaguchi out of his slumber. He fought the urge to open his eyes, knowing that once he did, he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Unfortunately, he could only take so much of the persistent beeping taking place next to his ear. Groaning, he reached for his phone. It took a couple of tries until he located it somewhere on his pillow and somehow managed to turn off the alarm without opening his eyes. Eventually he couldn’t put off waking up any longer if he wanted to get to work on time. Slowly opening his eyes, Yamaguchi blinked rapidly to get used to the light.

He had forgotten to close the curtains the night before, hence why his room was unusually bright. It was barely 7am, but the sun had already risen. Rubbing his stinging eyes, Yamaguchi reluctantly slid out of bed and patted his way to the bathroom. He avoided the mirror and took a quick shower in an attempt to fully wake himself up. Once out of the shower he proceeded to brush his teeth and in the end he couldn’t avoid the mirror anymore. Looking at his reflection, Yamaguchi grimaced. His hair was sticking up in various directions and his cheeks were flushed from the shower. He brought a hand up to his face and began rubbing at the freckles that speckled from one cheek, across the bridge of his nose, to the other. He didn’t like his freckles — they brought unwanted attention and caused the distress of his younger self.

Spitting in the sink, he rinsed his mouth out and walked back into his bedroom. Rushing into his closet, Yamaguchi slipped on a pair of boxer briefs, grabbed a pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a burgundy jumper, and quickly got changed. Running a hand through his hair, he didn’t even bother trying to tame the ridiculous cowlick at the top of his head. Sparing one last look at himself in the mirror, Yamaguchi deemed himself presentable enough.

Checking the time, he decided he could at least have some toast before leaving. It was unusual for him to wake up hungry, however, he would rather be safe and prevent the embarrassment of the loud growls his stomach would probably make later on.

Finally ready to head off, Yamaguchi put on his shoes, a pair of beat up black converse he had bought back in high school. Reaching for his bag, he looked through it to make sure he had everything he needed.

_Wallet, check. Keys, check. Phone, check. iPod, ch-_

Suddenly, Yamaguchi remembered the condition of his precious iPod which in turn reminded him of Tsukki’s visit to the bookstore. Still sitting on the floor, Yamaguchi rested his head on his knees and let out a pained whine. He really wished Tsukki would have just dropped the issue of replacing his iPod. Now he had to go through an entire conversation with a really attractive guy with an intimidating stare. He was not going to survive.

“Why me?” he voiced to no one in particular. What had started off as a relatively calm morning was ruined yet again by his anxiety. He could feel uneasiness settle in the pit of his stomach, waiting to bloom into a full blown panic.

Finishing putting his shoes on, he stood up, grabbed his stuff, and headed out the door. It was a pretty chilly morning, now that the season was transitioning from summer to fall, and he shivered when the cool breeze hit him. He loved the cold weather — the changing of the leaves, the longer nights, the holidays. Summer, however, was torture; he despised sweating and the heat made him want to claw his skin off.

The cool air helped clear his mind and settle down his anxiety. There weren’t many people on the streets, just a few older people shuffling to various markets mingling with each other. It was a pretty peaceful walk, even if he didn’t have music to distract him. However, thinking about music and work made the weird feeling in his tummy grow as he neared Karasuno Bookstore.

Yamaguchi was only about a block away from Karasuno when he really felt his anxiety take over. His hands began to feel a bit clammy and shook slightly as a result of his nervousness. The worst part was that he, once again, didn’t know when to expect his visitor to drop by. He would have to spend the day waiting anxiously until he showed up. It was going to be such a long day.

Once in front of Karasuno Bookstore, Yamaguchi felt his breathing pick up. Quickly, he shut his eyes and counted to ten slowly, trying his hardest to calm down and not hyperventilate. It took a couple of minutes before he was sure he wouldn’t faint due to the anticipation. Glancing towards Black Crow Tattoo Parlor, he relaxed further when he saw the closed sign still displayed in the window. Finally, he stepped into the bookstore and was immediately greeted by an excited Hinata and an angry looking Kageyama.

“YAMA-CHAN HELLO! GOOD MORNING!” Hinata boomed, making Yamaguchi wince.

“Good morning?” Yamaguchi replied, looking from Hinata to Kageyama with confusion clear on his face. Hinata was usually a very hyperactive being but this was on a different level.

“The dumbass got mad when I told him he couldn’t handle caffeine and drank caffeinated coffee instead of the decaf I got him.” Kageyama clarified, handing Yamaguchi an iced coffee while shooting glares at Hinata, who was practically buzzing in his seat. Yamaguchi quietly thanked him and took a sip of his own coffee.

"What are you talking about?! I feel great!" Hinata piped up. His voice had gone down in volume but was still no where near being classified as an inside voice.

Yamaguchi gave an exasperated sigh. It was always lively when Hinata and Kageyama worked the same shift. They were always competing, which led to arguments and yelling. It amused Yamaguchi but at the same time exhausted him — he was the one who usually had to intervene and prevent Kageyama from hurting Hinata. When they weren’t fighting, Yamaguchi would catch the not-so-discrete glances they would give one another. It was pretty cute actually.

Too distracted with their bickering to notice him, Yamaguchi silently clocked-in, placed his bag under the counter, and headed towards the back. There, two carts full of books were patiently waiting to be put away. He figured he could distract himself by returning the books to their proper location. Taking one last sip from his iced coffee, Yamaguchi set it down on an empty area in the cart and began to push the cart towards the fiction section. The cart wheels squeaked in protest but soon stopped once they adjusted.

Once at his destination, Yamaguchi began to sort the books alphabetically according to the author’s last name. It was a simple job but took time to place the books in their correct positions, especially those with similar last names. Relaxing into a steady pace to put the books back, Yamaguchi began humming one of his favorite songs. If he didn’t have any music, he might as well make his own.

This is why Yamaguchi liked working at the bookstore. It was peaceful even with Hinata and Kageyama constantly bantering. They knew that Yamaguchi liked to disappear between the aisles of books and tried their best not to bother him. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to them, it was just tiring being around their energy. Kageyama wasn’t as energetic as Hinata, but he would get loud and excited during their silly competitions.

Yamaguchi had finished with one cart and went to replace it with the other. It had taken him about an hour to finish one cart, but only because he took his time and occasionally read a chapter or two of the books that seemed interesting. He felt fully awake now — his coffee long since finished. The second cart was filled with nonfiction books, consisting mainly of different aspects of science. Yamaguchi had always been interested in astronomy. He found it intriguing that there was such a vast amount of space that humans knew very little of.

So immersed in books and humming, Yamaguchi failed to hear the chime of bells over the door that signaled someone’s entrance to the bookstore. Hinata and Kageyama had gone unusually quiet but he thought nothing of it. He was reading a book about the differences between galaxies and nebulas when a familiar gruff voice bursted his personal bubble.

“What are you doing?”

A high pitched yelp left Yamaguchi’s mouth, one which he would later deny the existence of. The book he was holding tumbled out of his hand and landed with a loud ’thunk’ beside his feet. He quickly spun around to come face to face — more like face to neck — with the cause of his anxiety that morning.

“Y-y-you, uh…w-what are you doing here?” Yamaguchi cursed the shakiness of his voice. He was still very shaken up from being startled, his hands trembling a bit and his heart thumping rapidly in his chest.

“I told you yesterday…never mind. What time is your lunch? Mine’s now so I figured we might as well get something to eat while we discuss the whole iPod situation.”

Was it lunchtime already? Yamaguchi had finally forgotten about the impending doom of socializing with this man. He really _really_ did not want to go but it was too late to run away.

“Oh, right. Uh we can go now. Just let me put this back." Yamaguchi began to wheel away the book cart without looking at Tsukki. He tried his hardest to keep his nerves at bay. There was no reason to be so anxious. It was normal for people to constantly converse with one another, so why couldn’t he do the same? Unfortunately it was easier said than done.

Begrudgingly making his way to the front desk, he found Tsukki waiting by the door with his arms crossed over his chest. Yamaguchi was about to crouch down to get his bag when Hinata practically pounced on him.

“Yama-chan who is that scary-looking guy? Do you owe him money? Is he a yakuza? He has a bunch of tattoos!“ Hinata attempted to whisper.

“If he was a yakuza he would’ve brought backup, stupid!” Kageyama argued.

"Oh true! So who is he then huh? Is he bothering you, Yama-chan? Do you want me to beat him up?” For someone so small, Hinata really liked to pick fights.

“No he’s not a yakuza. He works next door and I’m going out to lunch so  _please_ don’t hurt each other while I’m gone.” Yamaguchi pleaded.

“Oi. Let’s go, we don’t have all day.”

Yamaguchi sent one last pointed look to the duo before following Tsukki out the door.

Walking side by side with Tsukki was an experience. The other people on the sidewalk would look at him with a wary expression, as if they were expecting him to mug them or something. Stealing a glance at him, Yamaguchi took in his appearance. Tsukki’s outfit was pretty much the same as it was their first encounter. It consisted of ripped skinny jeans and some sort of band tee. Now in the daylight, Yamaguchi could see that the main design of his sleeve tattoo was a dragon. It was very pretty and complex with a lot of details that made it look realistic. The most intimidating part of Tsukki wasn’t his apparel or ink-covered arm, no, it was his face. A scowl was settled onto his features, driving away anyone who dare try and talk to him. It seemed to be a permanent fixture. No wonder Hinata thought he was a gang member. Yamaguchi snickered to himself.

“What's so funny?" Tsukki asked accusingly. Not realizing he had laughed out loud, Yamaguchi sputtered out a string of weird noises and felt his face heat up once again. Tsukki’s only response was to stare at him with a raised eyebrow as he waited for him to calm down. Yamaguchi was definitely not going to explain that he was laughing at him since that would probably end terribly so he opted to make something up.

“I-I was just remembering a joke. A really funny joke,” he managed to get out.

“Really now? What is it?” Well that backfired.

“…I forgot.” Yamaguchi mentally face-palmed.

“Has anyone ever told you you’re a bad liar?” Tsukki was clearly not impressed.

_Oh this is going to be a fun experience._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's on summer break.  
> ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_


	4. Blooming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Have you ever heard a calling  
> But you don't know where the sound is coming from?  
> Sometimes love  
> Is talking in a whisper
> 
> Do you ever feel like falling  
> For someone you never thought of falling for?  
> But without him  
> Though you move, you're getting nowhere"
> 
> \- Who Is In Your Heart Now?, Studio Killers

The café they ended up going to was only a couple of blocks away. It was a cozy location that many people frequented. The regular customers consisted of many young people that went to drink coffee in an attempt to stay awake and finish their schoolwork. The noise level rarely surpassed a soft murmur since everyone usually minded their own business. Because of this, Yamaguchi went there from time to time when he felt the need to get out of the house but still wished to avoid human interaction. Plus, the coffee was pretty good and as someone who suffered from insomnia, Yamaguchi drank a lot of coffee. It was basically the only thing that kept him going during the day. 

Fortunately, Tsukki seemed to know the place quite well since he didn't ask Yamaguchi for directions getting there. For most of the trip, they remained quiet. It was only about a 10 minute walk away from the bookstore, so they got there fairly quickly. As they entered the small café, their senses where immediately assaulted by the scent of coffee beans. Yamaguchi relaxed a bit at the familiar aroma of coffee. It reminding him of his childhood when his father would brew coffee early in the morning.

"Go find a table while I place our orders. What do you want?" The manner in which Tsukki posed the question came off as pushy, but his facial expression remained neutral.

"Oh! You don’t have to pay for m-" Yamaguchi was silenced with a glare before he could even finish his statement.

“Um just an iced coffee and a blueberry muffin please.” And with that he left to find a place to sit.

The café wasn’t very crowded. Only a few college students typing away on their laptops and a man reading the newspaper occupied the café. 

Yamaguchi ignored all the empty tables and headed towards the booth located somewhat near the back. If possible, he liked to sit in booths and refrain from sitting at tables. It made him feel exposed and open to judgmental eyes. He sat down and quietly waited for Tsukki to arrive with their food and drinks. 

Looking towards the front counter, Yamaguchi spotted Tsukki waiting in line behind a girl with long dark hair. The girl seemed to be having trouble choosing what to order since she kept glancing at the menu and shaking her head. The cashier was patient with her but Tsukki was anything but. He was tapping his foot and scowling at the back of the girl’s head, distain and irritation clear on his face. Yamaguchi giggled into his hand — the poor girl was oblivious to Tsukki’s glaring. He began to think about Tsukki being in various scenarios and the expressions he would make.

A few minutes passed when a tray was placed in front of him, startling him out of his daydreams. Tsukki had gotten a black coffee and a slice of strawberry shortcake. It was a funny combination — something bitter and something sweet. 

As soon as his food was in front of him, Yamaguchi began to nibble on his muffin to keep himself busy. Tsukki followed his actions and began to take small bites of his dessert, chewing slowly. Probably knowing Yamaguchi was not going to bring up the topic of discussion, Tsukki spoke up.

“Okay we have about an hour to figure out how I’m going to replace your iPod and just know there’s no way to convince me otherwise so don’t even try,” he said and set an intense gaze on Yamaguchi, daring him to argue back.

"But I feel bad making you pay for it."

“Money isn’t an issue if that’s what you're worried about."

"Still..."

Tsukki let out an exasperated sigh. Yamaguchi felt his leg begin to bounce as his anxiety rose. 

_Oh no, he’s annoyed. I’ve just met him and he’s already annoyed._

He focused his eyes down at his lap where his fingers were picking at the skin around his nails. Yamaguchi just wanted this predicament to be over.

“How about you find out how much it costs to repair it and let me pay half." 

Yamaguchi’s head snapped up at the sound of Tsukki’s voice. It didn’t seem like Tsukki was going to drop the issue and quite sincerely the last thing he wanted was for Tsukki to become even more impatient with him. This seemed like the best option.

"Okay." He answered after thinking about it a bit more.

Tsukki gave him a surprised look, raising both eyebrows. "Okay?" 

Yamaguchi nodded. 

Both men began to eat their food again. The silence that fell between them wasn’t awkward at all, which was unusual for Yamaguchi. He didn’t feel the need to strike up a conversation or flee the scene. It was comfortable, the frustration of coming to an agreement now gone. If he’d had known, Yamaguchi would’ve given into Tsukki's requests earlier.

Once again, Yamaguchi found his eyes drifting towards the blond in front of him. Despite his bored expression, Tsukki looked relaxed, sipping his coffee between taking bites of his strawberry shortcake. He really was handsome, Yamaguchi observed. His eyes were a very pretty color and his complexion was flawless. No freckles adorned his skin, unlike Yamaguchi who had them scattered in different areas of his body.

“Are you finished?” Tsukki suddenly asked. His eyes bore into Yamaguchi’s, staring back at him.

"Oh! Yeah!” Yamaguchi’s face colored at being caught staring again and averted his eyes from Tsukki’s. He shoved whatever remained of his muffin into his mouth, brushing off any crumbs that had fallen onto his shirt. 

The walk back was just as uneventful as the earlier one. It was a beautiful day, the sun was out but it wasn't hot. The breeze from the morning had died down a bit but could still be felt on occasion. There were more people walking around during that time of day, most of them hurrying back to work after their lunch break. 

Yamaguchi really appreciated the fact that Tsukki didn't fill the silence with chatter. That was one thing they had in common, he noticed. The difference between them however, was that Tsukki was not afraid to voice his opinions and liked to get straight to the point. He wasn't as careful as Yamaguchi was with talking. 

As they walked up to their adjacent workplaces, Yamaguchi shuffled from foot to foot wondering how to part ways with the blond. 

"Give me your phone." 

"Huh?" Yamaguchi confusedly stared at Tsukki. Why did he want his phone? 

“I’m giving you my number." Rolling his eyes, the taller held out his hand.

Yamaguchi handed over his phone to Tsukki almost automatically. His mind was in a blank, not really processing what was happening. He hadn’t exchanged phone numbers with many people. Other than his family members, only his coworkers and his best friend Yachi had his number.

After typing for a bit, Tsukki returned his phone.

“Send me a text whenever you decide to go fix your iPod. I gotta get back to work so..." He said while turning away.

"O-oh okay bye Tsukki." Tsukki paused and stared at Yamaguchi with an unreadable expression before giving him a nod and walking into the parlor.

After a few moments of standing outside the parlor, Yamaguchi turned around and walked next door into the bookstore. Immediately, he was ambushed by a blur of orange. 

“YAMA-CHAN YOU'RE ALIVE!" Yamaguchi stumbled back as Hinata latched onto him, hugging him tightly. 

“I thought I’d never see you again!" 

Not knowing what to do, Yamaguchi patted Hinata’s head twice before trying to free himself of the strong hold.

"Hinata! Let go, you’re making him uncomfortable.” Kageyama detached Hinata from Yamaguchi, who gave him a thankful look.

The rest of his shift passed by with little excitement apart from Hinata’s usual goofiness. Yamaguchi spent the time doing the usual dusting, arranging, and browsing through bookshelves. He purposely kept himself busy to prevent himself from thinking about having to eventually text Tsukki. 

Once his shift was over, Yamaguchi bid both Kageyama and Hinata a good night and hurried home. The breeze from the morning had returned, making the evening air chillier. Hugging himself tightly, Yamaguchi picked up his pace, wishing he had worn a sweater and making a mental note to include one in his outfit for the next day.

When he finally made it home, Yamaguchi changed into his lounge clothes and walked to the kitchen. He had barely eaten all day and his stomach was beginning to protest. He didn’t feel like cooking an extravagant meal so he settled for a boring bowl of cereal. He knew he should eat healthier but he couldn’t be bothered. Occasionally, he would get into the whole “healthy lifestyle" thing but it would only last for a few weeks. 

Yamaguchi plopped down on the couch and turned the TV on. He wasn’t a big fan of watching television but without his iPod, he had to be entertained somehow. He flipped through the channels until he eventually settled on some baking show. 

That’s how he spent the next few hours until he got bored and decided to just go to bed. He quickly washed whatever dishes he had in the sink and made his way to his bedroom. In his bathroom he proceeded to do his nightly routine of washing his face and brushing his teeth. After finishing, he grabbed his phone and crawled into bed.

Searching through his contact list, Yamaguchi found the new addition he was looking for. The name Tsukishima Kei stood out to him and realization dawned upon him. He had called Tsukki, or to be correct, Tsukishima, by the wrong name. Embarrassment flooded into his body which he expelled out as a loud groan. 

_How am I going to face him? I messed up his name!_

Tsukishima hadn’t actually corrected him so maybe it was okay for him to use the nickname. Besides Tsukishima couldn’t get mad since it was a pretty long name — it made sense for him to shorten it…right? At least that would be his excuse if he was confronted about it. 

Yamaguchi frowned at his ceiling. It had been a while since he had been so concerned with someone. He avoided getting close to people. But with Tsukishima it was different. He was both intrigued and terrified of the blond man. He had noticed little things that Tsukishima did — how his pierced eyebrow twitched when people were talking too loud, how his golden eyes would light up the slightest with each bite of cake, how he grimaced when the first sip of coffee burnt his tongue, how he left the strawberries for last. 

Yamaguchi shook his head. No, he could not get attached. He had made the mistake of getting close to someone too quickly only to be forgotten easily. He would probably never interact with Tsukishima again once he got his iPod repaired and it wasn’t as if Tsukishima even intended to become any more acquainted with him. 

Turning to the side, he placed his phone safely beside his bed. He burrowed into his blanket and wriggled around till he found a comfortable position. After taking a few deep breaths, he felt his eyes beginning to droop closed as he finally succumbed to sleep. Today had been one of his better days — he didn’t lose control of his anxiety and didn’t feel like shrinking out of sight around other people. Hopefully, tomorrow would be even better. 

That night, Yamaguchi dreamt of strawberry shortcake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHAHAH I am horrible. I'm sorry for the kinda-not-really hiatus. I was expecting to write during summer break but a lot happened and I sort of lost motivation. Then school started again and took up my time. Idk maybe I'm just spouting excuses. I'll try to update more often but tbh I can't promise anything since I write whenever I have time or when I don't feel like a pile of goop. Thanks again for the kudos/comments, they mean so much to me. Until next time, stay safe and be happy.  
> ~Rose


	5. Change in Pressure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Street lights, turn on one by one  
>  My hope is, descending like the sun   
> Try to tell myself there's freedom in the loneliness
> 
> Always restless, story of my life   
> Disconnected, body clock's not right  
>  Try to tell myself that  
> Ima get some sleep tonight
> 
> Found myself where I started, this isn't where I want to be  
>  The time that I find hardest, always comes eventually”
> 
> \- Nocturnal, Disclosure (feat the Weekend)

Yamaguchi was wrong.

The minute he woke up he felt a bit of dread settle into the pit of his stomach. He decided to ignore it for the time being since he had plans today.

The first thing he planned for the day was to go to the local repair shop to get an estimate of the cost to fix his iPod. 

Walking through the opened door into the repair shop, the first thing he noticed was the mess of parts of various electronic devices on a glass display case. The second thing he noticed was the man hunched over said mess twisting a screw driver and dismantling something, adding to the pile of plastic.

The man hadn’t yet notice Yamaguchi standing awkwardly by the door not knowing how to announce himself. It was situations like this that made his anxiety show up. He didn’t want to disturb the man from what he was doing. He hoped the man would eventually look up and ask him what he wanted.

Of course that didn’t happen so he mustered up the courage to get the man’s attention.

“E-Excuse me." He said in a small voice, which was not heard.

He cleared his throat and tried again, louder this time. "Excuse me."

The man peered up from whatever he was doing and finally acknowledged Yamaguchi.

"Oh! Hello! What can I do for you?" The man asked in his gruff voice.

"I need to f-fix my iPod." Yamaguchi replied. He stuck his hand into his pocket to fished out his iPod, placing it on the glass top.

The man grabbed it and turned it over in his hand, examining the broken item.

"Woah I haven't seen one of these in a while. Well the screen is busted so you'd have to replace that. Now, what I can't guarantee is if it will be functional when the screen is fixed. Since it is such an older model, I may not even have the parts necessary. If I were you I'd probably just invest in a newer model."

Yamaguchi's heart sank. Sure it was an older model, but it had a lot of sentimental value to him. He had a deep emotional connection with his iPod. It had been the first thing he had bought with his own money, having to do many chores to build up his allowance. It was the only thing that kept him company when no one else was around. His escape from bullies, his thoughts, and loneliness.

“Are you sure you can't fully fix it?" He asked, as the man handed back the device to him.

“Well I could try, but it would probably cost you the same if not more than just buying a new one."

Now that he had his options, all he had to do was discuss it with Tsukishima. Should he text him the details or talk to him face to face? Since this was involving money, he probably should meet with Tsukishima again. _Ugh when will this end?_

“Um thank you but I need to think about it.”

“No problem! Just come back if you need to, have a nice day!” The man smiled at him, making Yamaguchi feel a bit less stressed. He loved kind people.

—————————————

Yamaguchi found himself nervously pacing outside of the tattoo parlor an hour later. He couldn’t just barge in demanding to see Tsukishima. People may get the wrong impression. Well actually, it was just as easy as that. All he had to do was go in and ask for Tsukishima. But here he was freaking out over simple human interaction. You know, the usual.

Being so wrapped up in his internal fight, Yamaguchi failed to notice two suspicious looking individuals walk up to him. 

"Yo man you okay? You look lost.”

Yamaguchi’s head snapped up at the loud voice. Standing in front of him were two intimidating men, staring at him. The taller guy was bald and had sharp eyes. He wasn’t as tall as Yamaguchi himself but the tough aura surrounding him made up for the height difference. The other man was shorter but had the same delinquent style, with his piercings and bleached strands of hair. Together, these two made a frightening pair. Yamaguchi thought back to Hinata’s comment about yakuza.

"I-I-I" was all Yamaguchi could get out of his mouth. 

"Huuuh?" The bald guy bent forward and squinted up at him.

That was it. That’s how he was going to die, beaten to a pulp by these thugs. Or maybe he'd be kidnapped and made to illegally transport drugs to America.

As he was paralyzed, all he could do was lift one shaky hand and point to the tattoo parlor, hoping to convey his destination. Surely they’d know he didn’t want any problems.

"Ah! Ryuu he wants to go into Crows!" The shorter guy exclaimed.

“Oh! Why didn't you say so! Come on then, freckles.” The bald guy grabbed one of Yamaguchi’s arms and pulled him into the parlor with a big grin as the other guy cheerfully held the door open for them. 

Yamaguchi was too stunned as to what was happening that he just let them drag him into the tattoo parlor.

Inside, the parlor was fairly well-decorated. The walls were painted a bright orange but were filled with many frames displaying sketches and photographs that lowered the intensity of the color. There was a front desk section that separated the room into two sections. The front contained black leather seats, which were meant for any customers or people waiting. Towards the back were the leather tattoo chairs and beds, which were further sectioned off according to the tattoo artist’s space. A faint buzzing noise could be heard, indicating someone was getting tattooed. On the furthest wall, a giant crow was painted with intricate details. No wonder there had been so much racket while renovating the place. Although it had been not even a week since the parlor had officially opened, it felt very personalized, as if the tattoo artists made it their second home. 

At the front desk was Ukai, flipping through what seemed to be a sports’ magazine. He glanced up when the door opened as the three of them walked in, or in Yamaguchi’s case, was dragged in. 

“Oh hey you’re the book guy from next door! What brings you in here? Tanaka looks like he’s about to sacrifice you.” 

“Of course not! We found him standing outside, so we brought him in!” Ukai rose an eyebrow at that but made no comment.

Seemingly unconcerned, Ukai waved them off as they continued to drag Yamaguchi further into the shop towards a doorway covered by a colorful curtain.

“So what did you want? A tattoo? You don’t seem like the type to handle tattoos. Maybe a piercing to build up your pain tolerance!” The short dude suggested enthusiastically.

“W-w-w-wait! I d-don-“ There was too much happening and Yamaguchi’s anxiety was starting to climb. What had he gotten himself into?

“It’s totally normal to have first time nerves you know! You’ll be fine, Noya here knows how to work a needle.” Tanaka winked at him after making him sit on the black cushiony chair.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be gentle,” Noya said, arranging several needles and clamps of different lengths on a tray.

Gloves now on his hands, Noya advanced towards Yamaguchi, who tried to evade the hands reaching for his face. Fortunately, before he could get any holes he didn’t already have, a familiar figure appeared through the doorway.

“What are you doing to him?” Tsukishima stood there, peeling black latex gloves off his hands. Usually Yamaguchi would be nerved by him, but in that moment all Yamaguchi saw was his savior.

“Trying to decide what piercing to give him. Maybe something edgy like a tongue or septum piercing.” Noya examined Yamaguchi’s face, turning it in different directions trying to imagine what would look best. Yamaguchi sent a pleading look towards Tsukishima, hoping to convey his distress.

“I highly doubt he’s wants you near him with anything sharp. He can’t be _that_ dumb.” Yamaguchi didn’t know whether to be flattered or insulted.

“Why else would he be here then? To buy a puppy?” 

“U-um actually I came to talk to T-Tsukki.” He quietly explained.

Tanaka and Noya shared a confused look. “Who?”

Yamaguchi internally face-palmed. Of course they wouldn’t know who ’Tsukki’ was. He pointed towards Tsukishima, who looked everywhere but at them. Tanaka and Noya shifted their gaze towards him, and quickly looked back at each other with wide eyes.

“Come on then,” Tsukishima said as he walked away from the doorway.

 Yamaguchi practically launched himself off the seat and followed Tsukishima back towards his workspace. 

Tsukishima's little corner was pretty much like the rest of Crows, except more organized. There were various sketch books sprawled out on a small desk along with pencils of various kinds. 

"So what did you find?" Tsukishima asked as he motioned for Yamaguchi to sit while he sat on a small mobile stool.

"I went to an electronics repair shop earlier and the guy told me it would probably be best to buy a newer version."

"Makes sense. How much do you need?"

Yamaguchi looked down at his hands and began picking at the skin around his fingernails. 

"A-Actually I was hoping you would come with me to choose one?” Yamaguchi had no idea what possessed him to say that. Was his mouth not in sync with his brain? “I-I mean if you want to. I don’t really know much about the c-current models and since you are paying for part I’d feel better if you came with me. B-but I could just google it. You don’t h-have to, I could just go alone—“ 

"I'll go." Tsukishima interrupted his rambling. 

“Really?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow is Sunday so I’m off. Do you have weekends off?”

“Ah, yes I have weekends off…tomorrow’s fine if it isn’t a bother.”

“I told you I’d go. Do you want me to pick you up or do you want to meet here?”

“Whichever is less of a hassle.” 

Tsukishima narrowed his eyes at him, knowing where this was going. “Just meet me here at 10,” he sighed, turning in his seat to grab a sketchbook and pencil.

With nothing more to discuss, Yamaguchi stood up from his seat, muttered a quiet “kay, bye” and left.

As he exited Tsukishima’s work space, he almost ran into the duo who were totally not eavesdropping.

“Yo Yams, we’re sorry for scaring you.” Noya did not seem sorry at all.

“Yeah we kinda got excited since we barely had any customers today.” Tanaka scratched his bald head with a sheepish grin.

“No it’s fine. I should’ve asked to talk to Tsukki in the first place.”

“So Tsukki, eh?” Noya asked, as Tanaka wiggled his eyebrows at him.

“W-what about him?”

“Oh nothing." They shared a knowing look.

Yamaguchi took that as his cue to leave.

"W-w-well I gotta go BYE.” He bowed to them—why, he wasn’t sure—and fled out the door.

Once outside he did not stop walking until he made it to the corner of the street. He paused and took a deep breath in—when had he stopped breathing? 

He walked all the way to his apartment in a daze. 

Once home he ordered pizza online—not wanting to deal with the long process of mustering up the courage to actually call the pizza place. He sits on the couch making a playlist of youtube music videos as he waits for the sound of the doorbell. It’s about half an hour later that he hears it and reaches for his wallet. Ordering take-out is always a struggle. From having to sometimes call, to having to interact with the delivery person. He opened the door and silently nodded when the delivery man (more like boy, he was probably still in high school) said his name. They went through the whole trade off of money for pizza without any complications. He eats his pizza sitting on the floor, listening and singing along to the songs streaming from his laptop.

He only makes it through half the pizza, putting what’s left in the fridge, before walking to his bedroom to try and sleep.

As per usual, he had trouble falling asleep. Every time he closed his eyes, the events of that day flashed through his mind. He tossed and turned, tangling himself in his blanket in his poor attempts to get comfortable. Yamaguchi huffed, kicked his feet until he freed himself of the blanket, and sat up. 

Deciding on a late night walk, Yamaguchi got up from bed and put on a sweater and his shoes. 

The outdoor air did wonders for him. He was glad to live in a smaller town rather than in a big city where the air was thicker with pollution. He walked down the street with no set destination. 

Yamaguchi took the time during these walks to let his mind wander in hopes to settle his thoughts enough to be able to sleep. He thought back to how helpless he was against Tanaka and Noya, who would no doubt get along well with Hinata. He thought back to how he stuttered and probably looked so dumb with his terrified expression when Tsukishima saved him. He thought back to how Tsukishima's ears developed a light pink tint when he was addressed as the 'Tsukki.'

Eventually when he began to focus on his surroundings again, Yamaguchi noticed he had walked the route to his job and was standing in front of Karasuno Bookstore and Black Crow Tattoo Parlor. He stood there for a few minutes, staring at the contrast between the plastic 'closed' sign hanging from one window and the flashing neon sign in the other. He decided to walk back from there.

Surprisingly, Yamaguchi was excited to spend the day with Tsukki tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again beautiful people. I didn’t take as long to update right? Lol I do most of the writing/editing during lecture. Fun fact: The digestive system—from mouth to anus—is about 30 feet long. Neat huh? Anyways DID YOU GUYS SEE YAMS IN THAT EPISODE I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING. Oh yeah, would you guys like to freak out over anime or whatever with me on tumblr/twitter? I've never really had a use for twitter but I might if that'd be easier to communicate with. lemme kno. Well until next time and I hope you all fulfill any goals you may have.  
> ~Rose


	6. Strange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “‘Cause my heart stops without you  
> There's something about you  
> That makes me feel alive
> 
> If the green left the grass on the other side  
> (I would make like a tree and leave)  
> But if I reached for your hand  
> Would your eyes get wide?  
> (Who knew the other side could be so green?)”
> 
> \- Honey and the Bee, Owl City ft. Breanne

Yamaguchi was currently facing a huge dilemma.

He had barely slept the night before once he had returned home from his walk. The nervousness of the shopping day with Tsukishima was now accompanied by excitement. In bed, he began to plan what he was going to wear, how he should act, and what he should talk about. He hadn’t spoken much with Tsukishima so he was at a loss as to how to begin a conversation with him. Tsukishima usually initiated their conversations, so maybe Yamaguchi could just silently hope for him to take initiative. 

By the time he fell asleep, it was already 4 am. He had made sure various times that he had set an alarm—he didn’t want to be late and make Tsukki mad. 

Yamaguchi awoke with a start. He wasn’t sure what had woken him up but now that he had opened his eyes, he knew he would not be able to fall back asleep. With a sigh he checked the time and saw it was only a few minutes before his alarm was supposed to go off. He quickly turned off the alarm to prevent any unwanted heart attacks and got up to get ready.

The scent of strawberries and coconuts filled the bathroom as he showered. Yamaguchi had a pretty sensitive nose and certain aromas brought up memories, both good and bad, therefore he surrounded himself with items that had pleasant scents — shampoos, body washes, lotions, candles, etc. That and he was a bit paranoid of others finding him stinky.

Stepping out of the tub with a towel around his waist, he walked to the mirror and sighed after wiping off the condensation. He had taken a cold shower in hopes to fully wake himself up and reduce the puffiness of his face. However, the faint dark circles under his eyes were sure to gave away his lack of sleep. 

While brushing his teeth, he walked into his closet to find the items of clothing he had deemed suitable for the day. He was constantly checking on the weather forecast to make sure what he wouldn’t be caught with a sweater on hot days or without one on cold days. 

The weather was supposed to be fairly sunny, though the temperature would remain cooler. Last night he had mentally gone through various outfit options but had settled on a simpler look. He picked out a plain white t-shirt with his nicer black skinny jeans (which made his bum look nice—not that he was trying to show it off or anything…) and tossed them onto his bed. 

Yamaguchi spat into the sink and gargled some mouthwash. He returned to his bedroom to quickly change into his clothes and use some body spray.

Now, the real task was figuring out how to style his hair. No matter what he did it never wanted to cooperate. Of course it wasn’t on the same plane as Hinata’s wild hair, but it was still annoying trying to find a style that worked for him. He combed through it with his fingers before blow drying it. Even after tediously applying some gel to combat the frizz, that one cowlick would just not stay down. He came to the conclusion that it was a curse placed on him for chopping his own hair off at 5 years old. 

It didn’t matter anyways. He wasn’t trying to impress Tsukishima. After today they would never see each other again. Well, that was impossible since they worked next-door to each other but they wouldn’t go out of their way to meet, right? The only thing that kept them together was the bloody broken iPod and once that was replaced they wouldn’t have a reason to speak again.

Yamaguchi wanted to believe that but somewhere deep in his conscious he knew he wanted to keep talking to Tsukishima. 

Pushing his thoughts aside, he figured he should get going. 

Before leaving, he threw on some chucks and his favorite flannel to keep himself semi-warm (Hinata teased him for being so “grunge” but he was kind of into the look since it was pretty effortless) and grabbed his keys and wallet.

With his door locked, Yamaguchi made his way to the meeting place.

——————————

Of course Tsukishima owned a motorcycle. Why did Yamaguchi expect anything less. It was black and sleek and probably very very fast.

Now, Yamaguchi has never been a risk taker, with anxiety making him think twice before doing anything remotely adventurous. Just thinking about the possibility of falling off the bike made his heart pump faster.

“You’ll be fine. Here.” He handed Yamaguchi a simple black helmet and proceeded to put on his own. His uncertainty must have been clear on his face.

Yamaguchi slipped on the helmet and hesitantly swung his leg over the motorcycle to settle behind Tsukishima.

He wasn’t sure where to hold onto. It made sense to put his arms around Tsukishima’s waist but that would be too intimate. He tried to hold onto the back of his seat but that didn’t feel secure enough. Tsukishima stared at him as he moved his arms around trying to find a place to grip. Eventually Yamaguchi set both hands on his shoulders and just stared back. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and turned the bike on. He revved the engine exaggeratedly and Yamaguchi was not prepared for the force of the take off. 

 _Forget being intimate_. He quickly circled his arms around Tsukishima’s waist and hung on for dear life. He didn’t realize he was screaming until they got to the first stoplight. He felt Tsukishima shaking with laughter that he couldn’t hear over the engine. Yamaguchi pinched his stomach as revenge but only made Tsukishima tremble more. 

The longer he was on the bike, excitement slowly replaced his fear. He got an adrenaline rush feeling the air and scenery whir around him. He began to understand the appeal people had to motorcycles. Though cliche, he felt free and as if he could concur the world. Never in a million years did he think he’d find himself in this position. Yet again, he found himself out of his comfort zone thanks to Tsukishima, but it didn’t feel bad at all.

Arriving at the mall, Yamaguchi could see people stare at them as they slowly drove around trying to find a parking spot. He peeled himself from Tsukishima’s back and forced his hands to unclench his shirt when the vehicle was turned off.

Shakily Taking off the helmet, he didn’t even have to look at his hair to know it was sticking up everywhere. 

_Well, so much for actually spending time on my hair._

He took the hair tie on his wrist and tied up the upper part of his hair into a small ponytail. It was his go-to hairstyle since it kept his hair out of his face. He caught Tsukishima observing him and blushed under the scrutiny.

“I wouldn’t have thought you had your ears pierced,” Tsukishima stated.

Yamaguchi brought his hand up to his earlobe and twisted the jewelry there. 

“Aha yeah…” He didn’t know what to say. He had gotten his ears pierced during his first year of college. After being teased in high school, he figured he should toughen up his look to avoid having people mess with him. It wasn’t necessary however since most college students minded their own business, trying to simply pass their classes.

Not deeming his answer suitable for a response, Tsukishima lead the way into the mall.

Before they even stepped into the Apple Store, Yamaguchi could tell it was going to be crowded. He hated crowds—too much body heat and wandering eyes.

They walked into the store and he was immediately overwhelmed. There were laptops, desktops, phones, iPods, and accessories. People were crowded around every electronic device, some observing and others simply taking photos with them.

Tsukishima looked pretty irritated surrounded by that many people but he just glared at anyone who got too close to them. This was convenient because the crowd around the iPods dispersed as they neared it.

Yamaguchi was stunned by how many different colors and models iPods came in. There were ones with touch screens, some with a small screen and a circle navigator, and cute tiny square ones.

He didn’t know which one to look at first, his hands hovering and eyes flicking over the various models. The small models could easily fit in his pocket but he was sure he would misplace it all the time. However, the larger touch screen models looked so thin and fragile. He sensed Tsukishima step closer to him and looked up at him, hoping he could help decide. 

“So…which do you like best?”

“I don’t really want one with a touch screen.” Yamaguchi already had a smart phone so it would be a hassle carrying around two devices that were essentially the same.

“Do you know how many gigabytes you want it to have?” 

“How many what?”

“Gigabytes. Like memory storage.” 

“Oh. Uh I think my old one had 30…but it was starting to run out.” After having the iPod for about a decade, the amount of music stored in it continued to increase as new songs and bands were made. 

“They don’t offer 30 anymore. I think the highest is 160. That’s the one I have.” He pointed to a black blocky iPod

Yamaguchi instantly loved it. He walked closer to the displayed model. It resembled the old one he had, but less shiny. He hesitantly picked it up and simply held it in his hand. It felt smooth and sturdy, unlike the other thinner iPods. It fit perfectly in his hand and wasn’t so light that he felt it would slip out of it easily. He looked at Tsukishima and as if understanding this was the one, Tsukishima nodded and left to find an employee.

He returned shortly with someone carrying a tablet. 

“Hello. So you want to buy this iPod Classic, right?” The employee asked.

Ugh. “Y-yes, please.” Please? He made no sense.

“Okay, how many gb and what color?”

“U-uh…the one with the most in black.”

"Alright! I'll go get it and meet you at the cashier." 

They paid for the iPod, splitting the cost between their credit cards, and quickly escaped the chaos that was the Apple Store.

Yamaguchi clutched the bag tightly to his chest as they walked out of the store. Tsukishima looked smug, probably amused with how pleased Yamaguchi looked.

While walking towards the parking lot, the silence was broken by a loud rumbling sound. Yamaguchi stopped in his tracks, ripped out of his dazed state. The source of the growl was his poor stomach. He’d forgotten to eat breakfast and was now paying the consequences in the form of embarrassment. 

“Let’s get food.”

Yamaguchi swiveled around to stare in disbelief at Tsukishima. He figured he would be dropped off back home after making the purchase and didn’t even think about the possibility Tsukishima wanting to spend more time with him. 

“Or not."

"N-no! I want to! But it's alright with you? I-I mean, you've helped me so m-much lately, and I wouldn't want to take up anymore of your t-time." Darn his nervous stutter.

"Nah. It's fine. I'd probably be bored at home anyway.”

“O-okay but don’t make me choose a place.” Things never turned out right when he was the one making decisions.

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Help. It is here. The dreaded season that has me avoiding the outside world due to a rise in temperatures and insects. Let me tell you it is torture. It was literally 122F the other day. Like really, who would want to go outside? It sucks cause I find it easier to write when I’m out of the house otherwise I’ll just sleep the day away. What do you guys do to find motivation? Also, I know iPod classics are discontinued but I can dream k. Sorry if I don’t reply to your comments. I get really flustered when I read them and don’t know how to reply. I really do appreciate all the positive feedback this fic gets. I love you all and please please stay safe, too many horrible incidents have occurred in the world this year so far.
> 
> Until next time,  
> Rose
> 
> P.s. don’t pokemon go and drive pls. ( ´﹀` )
> 
> [tumblr](http://fujikujiras.tumblr.com)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “It starts with a glimpse, a shimmer, a shadow  
> Or something I had once  
> But since lost and now I  
> I've got a feeling that I'm not complete anymore
> 
> Don't even tell me where we are going  
> Hands over my eyes, hands over my eyes  
> Don't even tell me where we are going  
> Just walk, just walk by my side
> 
> Are you fixin'  
> To fix me?”
> 
> -Fixin’, Walk the Moon

When Yamaguchi woke up that Monday morning to the sound of his first alarm (he had about five, each set half an hour apart, just in case he missed the first few), he immediately wanted to go back to sleep. That weekend had been filled with more social interactions than he was used to in a while. He laid there staring at the digital numbers trying to will away the odd feeling in his gut. Yamaguchi wondered how much trouble he would get into for taking the day off.

He reached an arm outside from his blanket burrito to grab his phone. The bright screen made his eyes water, so he lowered the brightness and searched for Takeda’s phone number. Once he found it, he stared at the screen for a few minutes thinking about how to approach the subject of taking the day off.

To: Takeda-san  
Subject: Work?  
Hello Takeda-san. I’m sorry for the late notice but I don’t feel well enough to go to work today. I’m sorry, I’ll take any extra shifts to make up for it.

From: Takeda-san  
Subject: Re: Work?  
It’s totally fine! It works out great actually. I'll get Sugawara to cover you since he has been asking for more hours. Feel better and don't stress yourself out too much!

Ahhh good old Takeda-san. It was unusual for him to take "sick" days, but whenever he felt too overwhelmed, Takeda-san understood that he needed to take a day to just laze around and get himself in order.

He texted back a quick thanks and tossed his phone onto his pillow before getting comfortable once again to try and get some sleep. His mind, however, decided to flood with memories of the day before.

Yamaguchi burrowed deeper into his blanket, pulling it up to his chin. Many unexpected events had occurred, and not the bad kinds either. Just thinking about the day he'd had with Tsukishima made him blush and want to squeal like a schoolgirl.

\------------------------

Yamaguchi did not know where Tsukishima was taking them.

He was glad he didn’t have to choose where to eat. Whenever he had to make a decision, about 99.9% of the time it turned out to be a terrible mistake. Like the time his coworkers made him choose a place for lunch. He had chosen a Thai place he had seen an ad for in the mail. From the moment they'd set foot in the sketchy restaurant, Yamaguchi knew he'd made the wrong decision. They'd ordered and gotten their food rather quickly. However, during their meal, Kageyama had suddenly gone still while eating his curry. Hinata's face had turned a shade of green as he stared in horror at Kageyama's trembling hand. All their eyes locked onto the long strand of black hair dangling from the fork. Yamaguchi was mortified while Suga just cackled at their reactions. Long story short, Yamaguchi had apologized profusely even though everyone insisted it wasn't his fault. He vowed to never make decisions on behalf of everyone after that.

Cringing at the memory, Yamaguchi inspected their surroundings trying to find a clue as to where they were headed. He felt more comfortable on the motorcycle now, though he did shut his eyes whenever Tsukishima drove too close to another vehicle.

He knew they had ventured away from the city and closer to their quieter part of town. Yamaguchi lived just outside of the city limits. He had lived in the dead center of the city for about a year before moving to his current residence. He felt out of place in the city among the rich business people. No one seemed to ever relax, always in a hurry to wherever they needed to be. Just watching the people hustle around made him anxious and feel like he should be doing something even if he didn’t need to. When he had finally decided to move, he instantly noticed the difference the farther away he drove from the city. People here were more friendly and took time to enjoy their life. He sold his car since everything was practically in walking distance and the train station was only a couple of blocks away. It was by far a good decision.

He got out of his thoughts when Tsukishima cut the engine.

They were parked in front of what seemed to be a diner, 'The Nest' displayed in fancy letters. He took off his helmet and handed it to Tsukishima.

He followed Tsukishima inside, who apparently had already chosen where they would sit at — a booth (thank god).

“Welcome! What can I—Oh! Kei-kun! How have you been? Haven’t seen you in a while. How’s Akiteru-kun?” The waitress was a petite woman with unruly dark hair. She had a smile on her face as she looked up at Tsukishima.

“He’s fine,” Tsukishima replied in his usual disinterested tone, though it didn’t seem to phase her.

“Send him my regards! Well what can I get you guys to drink?”

“Water.” He looked to Yamaguchi, who had just been watching their interaction.

“O-Oh!” He quickly skimmed through the menu. “Um, may I have a vanilla shake please?” He asked with a smile.

“So polite. You should follow his example, Kei-kun,” she wagged a finger teasingly at Tsukishima. “Would you like to order food now?”

Yamaguchi panicked — he hadn’t even looked at the food menu yet. Fortunately Tsukishima asked for two orders of “the usual.”

“You never change. Alright! Be right back.”

Yamaguchi watched her retreating figure until she was out of sight then turned back to the blond sitting across from him. “Do you come here a lot?”

“Kind of. My brother used to work here so we took advantage of his employee discount. Plus the burgers are good.”

“Hmm.” He didn’t know Tsukishima had a brother. Was he as tall as him? Or taller? He stored that bit of information among the other stuff he knew about Tsukki.

They sat in silence until the waitress came back with their orders.

“So, aren’t you going to introduce me to your friend?” The waitress asked as she observed Yamaguchi closely.

“Sorry! I-I’m Yamaguchi T-Tadashi.” He tried to make eye contact as he introduced himself but had to look away from her scrutiny.

“Oh? Could this perhaps be a date?” Right then and there, Yamaguchi’s body felt like it burst into flames by how much he began to blush.

“No no no! I-I-It’s not a d-da—“

“Don’t you have other customers to attend to?” Tsukishima glared at the waitress who just smirked at him.

“You’re no fun Kei-kun. Well I’ll let you boys eat before your food turns cold! I'm Aya, just shout my name if you need anything.”

Yamaguchi internally sighed in relief as Aya walked away.

The food looked delicious. The burger was full of fresh vegetables and the fries were a nice shape.

Taking a bite out of his burger, Yamaguchi savored the flavor. Tsukishima was right about the burgers being good. It wasn’t anything fancy but the simplicity of it allowed for all the ingredients to be tasted. He looked up at Tsukishima, who had also taken a bite, and gave him a thumbs up.

Still chewing his first bite, Yamaguchi sorted through his fries, separating the crunchy ones from the soft ones. He poured some ketchup on his plate (and tried not to giggle at the squelching sound) and began sprinkling a hefty amount of pepper into it. He took one of the sturdier fries and mixed his concoction which was now a darker shade of red.

Fries were probably Yamaguchi's favorite food, especially the soggy ones, and he spent years searching for the premium way to eat them. First he eats the crunchier ones, leaving the soggy ones for last. The whole ketchup and pepper thing was discovered when instead of adding salt he accidentally put pepper and was too lazy to start over.

Tsukishima had been staring at him with an expression of uncertainty (and maybe a little disgust) so he was quite surprised when Tsukishima silently grabbed his own fry and proceeded to dip it in the sauce.

Yamaguchi observed his reaction closely when he took a bite of the fry. Tsukishima's eyes opened a bit wider and he made eye contact with him.

He couldn't stop the large grin that spread across his face as Tsukishima grabbed the pepper shaker and sprinkled a small amount into his own gloop of ketchup.

They continued on eating, Yamaguchi quite satisfied with how things were turning out. He felt an overwhelming need to start a conversation with the blond across from him. Yamaguchi wanted to learn more. However, what Aya had said earlier kept playing in his head. Was this a date? It couldn't be. It was just a friendly, if even that, outing after finally resolving the dilemma they had been in. Was Tsukishima even interested in men? Aya thinking it was a date suggested so, though he couldn't assume anything based on that. He'd learn in the past to never assume anything about people, especially someone's sexuality.

Yamaguchi went through appropriate questions as he ate his burger. What could he ask? Something that wasn't too personal, such as sexuality — they weren't at that stage of acquaintances yet. He glanced at Tsukishima, who was too busy enjoying his food than notice Yamaguchi's inner turmoil. The guy didn't appear to be the kind to engage in small talk, though neither was Yamaguchi for that matter. The majority of time they had spent together was in silence, which was perfectly fine, so why did Yamaguchi want to begin some random conversation?

"...Are those real?"

"What?"

See, this right here was why he barely spoke to anyone.

"I-I mean your glasses. Are they prescription?"

"Well duh. What kind of question."

Why he asked this will forever be a mystery to him. (Maybe it was because he secretly had a thing for guys wearing glasses.)

"I-it's because Hinata — ah he's the one from the other day with the ginger hair — sometimes shows up with glasses even though he doesn't need them. He said they're just for show. I guess it's like a fashion trend or something. Pretty impractical if you ask me but to each their own right? Anyways that's why I a-asked. If they were real. Sorry." He shoved a handful of fries into his mouth to stop it from running any longer. God, he didn't understand himself. When he was meant to speak he couldn't get a single word out but once he started, he'd ramble on and on.

"Is that the guy who offered to beat me up?"

Great. "You heard that?"

"I don't think he knows whispers are meant to be quiet."

"Y-yeah. Hinata doesn't do quiet. Especially around Kageyama."

"I should prevent him from meeting my coworkers. I have a feeling they'd get along a little too well." Tsukishima's eyebrow twitched just by mentioning his coworkers.

"Noya-san and Tanaka-san are a bit...intense."

"Please. They act all tough but they're totally harmless. They go around picking fights and wimp out when it gets serious."

Yamaguchi snickered at this. Now thinking back to his first meeting with those two, it was kind of funny how their demeanor instantly changed from terrifying to enthusiastic, though that didn't make them any less intense.

"I think I'll help in keeping our coworkers away from each other. You know, for the sake of the universe."

Yamaguchi could swear he saw the corners of Tsukki's lips twitch.

"Good. I'm going to need all the help I can get."

\------------------------

Yamaguchi squealed at the memory. It had been so easy to chat with Tsukishima. He still got nervous in the beginning but he quickly became more comfortable the longer they talked. Which was weird — it took a lot for Yamaguchi to drop his guard around someone.

He pulled his covers up and closed his eyes, full of intent to sleep the entire day away.

Maybe it was time to replace the one-way mirrors for some windows in the many walls he'd built around himself. It was pretty lonely being able to see others while you remained invisible to them.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> During these past few months my anxiety has been through the roof due to college. I feel like everyone knows what they want but I'm just stuck. I've been feeling better and I'm now in a healthier state of mind to do the things I love. UGHHHH I HATE FEELING DOOOWN. But anyways, our boys r getting closer huuuuh. This has been pretty much finished the entire time but I wasn't going to post something just cause. Thank you guys so so much for your support and waiting patiently. I don't know when I will update next but just know that I will.
> 
> Until next time, stay safe and make sure to smile. 
> 
> ~Rose
> 
> P.S. the whole pepper thing is based on myself try it okay


End file.
